Saturday, May 31, 2008

Summer is here...and af won't leave!

Dear Auntie Flo,

It is so nice to see you after your three month vacation. I'm very glad to see you and Ovy have worked out your differences and life can commence as before. I understand that you have missed me oh so much. In the past few months you must have been dying for some attention and human interaction...but...

You have been here three weeks dear aunt! Three! I love you just as any other woman does but honestly Auntie...don't you have somewhere else to go? I'm not trying to be rude or cross with you its just that I would love to spend at least some of my summer vacation lounging in the pool. It is rather hard to do that when I am with you all hours of the day. I desperately miss my husband and frankly, you seem to get in the way.

Auntie Flo, you know you can come back next month for a few days. It isn't like we won't be seeing each other again I am sure. I know you fear that whole baby thing but honestly, it would take some serious walkin on water type miracle stuff not to mention a whole pharmacy full of meds so you have nothing to fear seeing as how I haven't yet mastered the whole walkin on water thing and I haven't won the lottery to buy a pharmacy yet either. See there. You can come back next month. Honest. Just go enjoy yourself for a few weeks. Go to Bermuda and sip tiki drinks with tiny umbrellas.

I'm begging you kindly to heed my words. Hubby is getting rather grumpy and we both know how fun that is sleeping beside a grumpy deprived man. I know you would rather do something else than listen to him whine and gripe! I'll put up with him, you just go enjoy yourself. What about the mountains? They are always nice this time of year!

I guess Flo, what I'm trying to say here is Get Out! I'm tired and I need a break. You are just gonna have to vacate for a little while and let us sleep for a few weeks before you come back. I can only handle you in small doses and to be honest you have worn out the welcome (a couple of weeks ago might I add)! I will give you 24 hours before I myself start packing up your stuff and calling in Provera to lug all your crap somewhere else! I tried to be all nice and hostessy for you but honestly! Some people just don't know when to leave!

So, until next month my lovely aunt! Next month!

Sincerely yours,


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