Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Too Cute Tuesday - Take 1
I help manage lunch duty for the third and fourth graders. I love having a chance to just hang out and kid around with them. Most teachers hate this time of day. They stand up at the front and chat with the other staff and try to shoo the kids away with frustrated sighs. I usually mingle around and enjoy my time with the kids.
The other day I walked by two of the fourth graders. The boy's mother is a good friend of mine. He was making a terrible face and holding his nose. I asked him what in the world was going on. The girl beside him was hysterical with laughter. Her mom used to work with us too. She told me that he hated carrots just as the little boy popped one in his mouth followed by a horrific face. I laughed and asked him why he was eating them if he hated them so much.
He stopped chewing and looked me straight in the eye and got very serious. "Mrs. Arian it's my eyes. I really need to work on my eyes."
I laughed and encouraged him to keep choking them down. I told him they were indeed good for not only his eyes, but his whole body.
I happen to take my lunch break with his mom and I told her about the antics of the two kids and we laughed at the silliness of it all.
The next morning she came to me and told me the whole story behind the carrot eating incident. He asked for carrots at dinner that night and she asked him what on earth made him want to eat carrots all of a sudden. "Boy" carefully explained to her that carrots are very good for your eyes. They can make your eyes very strong. With his serious face on he continued, "I have to eat as many carrots as I can if I want to get night vision, Mom!"
Monday, February 23, 2009
What more could a girl want?
I don't know.
I have been struggling the past couple of weeks to hold my head above the water. I have been sleeping a lot lately. Some afternoons I come in and fall right to sleep, skipping dinner and waking just in time for the very last snooze alarm. My appetite is wonky and my mood is equally bizarre. I'm not angry, grumpy, happy, or anxious. I'm simply frustrated. Everything frustrates me. I spend my day arguing back and forth over silly things in my head.
I knew I was headed for a meltdown. It was inevitable.
Tonight it happened.
I was on the phone with Hubby griping about the state of our cluttered house and how it had me in a tizzy. I fussed about this thing and that for most of our short conversation. He finally managed a word or two and asked me what had happened to make me so disagreeable today. "I'm just really tired," immediately escaped my mouth. He mentioned that I had been sleeping a lot lately and asked for the umpteenth time if af had shown. I told him she was still MIA. He asked me if I thought things were out of sync again and I told him things were undoubtedly out of sync.
He softly mentioned that perhaps we should schedule that doctor's appointment we have been avoiding. I didn't say a word. He started to go over his schedule out loud and then said, "Call tomorrow and schedule it for next Tuesday. I'm off then."
My throat tightened and I could feel panic well up in my chest. I hung up with Hubby and promptly filled my pillow with hot salty tears. The thought of a doctor's appointment and all of the failure and pain that goes along with it makes want to throw up.
I think I found the source of my frustration.
Sunday, February 22, 2009
For a long time people talked about a white deer, but few could support their story with a sighting. She became a bit of a secretive legend or myth in our town. Everyone knows about her, but not many will talk about her for fear of revealing "their special secret." Many don't realize that this particular deer is actually the offspring of another white deer. There was a short time two years ago that you could see the mother out in the open with her baby. She was completely white and absolutely stunning. Something happened to her though. That winter the little one began showing up alone and we haven't seen her since.
My mom and I stay at the school late a lot of afternoons and we are often blessed with a visit from her. Sometimes she will graze with her friends right outside the hallway door. I feel so lucky to have a chance to spend so much time with her.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
What kind of issues? Well every kind really. I feel crappy, I'm tired a lot, my appetite has been wonky, and I've been busy with more projects than I want to complete.
I just want to curl up in bed with the television and a never ending supply of tea and sleep the days away. I don't want to go to work. I don't want to teach other peoples' kids how to behave in the real world. I don't want to open the door to a toyless living room. I'm sick of spending my nights watching my husband play video games while I crochet, type, cook, clean, etc. I'm tired of not having anyone to interract with and giggle with. I hate that the only toys I can play with are squeaky and covered with a layer of dog slime.
I hate that my body is such a screwed up mess. I want to have a period like normal people. I want to have relations with my husband without him saying "I'll go get you something to drink. Don't sit up." or "Honey, it's been over half an hour. You're finished marinating now!"
I hate that this week has been such a roller coaster. I got eyebrows from some coworkers when I mentioned how tired I had been and I immediately laughed out loud, rolled my eyes, and cried, "Please! That can't happen." The roller coaster continued a couple of days later when Hubby said "Uh, are you ever gonna start?" It was followed with a day of microscopic cramps and a sudden frustration with the fact that the world is round and doesn't turn my way.
I can't stand seeing my husband mouth to me over Dan's head, "I want a baby like they have." I can't stand the helpless and hopeless despair that pours over me when he does that.I can't stand that there are two people having babies this week and I can't even lay a lousy egg.
I don't know how much more I can take right now. I need vacation from my life. Seriously!
*** Sorry. I know this is a bit ranting and whiny to say the least, but I wanted to give you an honest reason why I had not posted for a few days. Truth is, I am in a bitter, frustrated place right now and any posting is going to reflect that.
Sunday, February 8, 2009
I'm going to show you my super secret project, but you have to promise not to tell!
These are Sensays. The one with green hair is Smooshie, the one with orange hair is Lucy, and the slug is Smoochie. The kids in one of my classes helped me name them.
My mother in law called one night and started talking about our four year old nephew. He is autistic. We just thought that this was a case of grandma vs. goo.gle. After talking to her for a short while, I realized she was right. He has so many classic behaviors of an autistic child. She mentioned it to the mother about a year ago and they haven't heard anything else about it until she went with her son to pick him up from daycare one day. He is enrolled in a daycare for special needs kids. That is the best first step his mom has made. They are clueless about any doctor's opinions and have found little information to help them help him. I've worked with a lot of autistic children in school and I gave her as many ideas as I could with a promise to dig up some more.
Ideas started brewing after we hung up. Wouldn't it be awesome to make him some toys that would comfort him. This is where Sensays began. I don't know if it will go any further than my nephew's toy box, but I love them. I plan on testing them out with some of the kids at school this week. If they work out well, I am going to send some to him and put them on my Etsy shop.
I don't know if you can tell from the pics, but I used different textured yarns for every part of each critter. The whole point is to provide tactile stimulation. I think these would be great for babies too. I almost purchased safety eyes for the dolls, but I think the knotted eyes add another tactile point and it makes it safe for little ones at the same time. I also have a little boy in my class with JRA I think one of these would be a perfect thing for him to slip in his pockets and squeeze throughout the day to help him keep his hand joints loose.
These are my first attempts, but I think they turned out ok. I plan on making some smaller versions that will fit in a pocket and I want to add some other fun things to them such as rattles or bells or crinkly paper. So what do you think?
Go see what the rest of the class is showing this week!