Saturday, June 6, 2009

The Thing Under My Bed

From time to time I struggle with sleeplessness. I've never really struggled with things that go bump in the dark, but I do have a hard time with my mind. I create endless streams of conversation and mull over every detail of the day before I can fall asleep. Once I fall asleep, many times, my dreams are filled with what I call "My thing under the bed." It's that one thing that keeps me frustrated and revved up long after my bedtime. It causes me to wake up at two in the morning and pace the floors searching for a solution.

I thought I would share with you all what I most often pull out from under the bed of my mind. I battle with it more than anything else. It isn't scary, and truth be told, it isn't a bad thing for me. Surprisingly, I am most productive when I avoid going to sleep or wake up out of a sound sleep with this image seared into my eyelids.

Now I am not a published writer. Most likely because I am too chicken to offer up my hard fought sweat and tears for someone to criticize. Still, I spend a massive amount of my spare time, especially in the summer, writing and fighting that internal turmoil that comes with the territory. I love every second of it. I even enjoy being frustrated sometimes. I draw immense satisfaction from taking a tiny moment or idea and stretching it and weaving it into new faces and lives.

Right now my current sleeplessness is all thanks to a girl and her history. Character development is usually fairly easy for me. This girl apparently is very allusive and secret which ironically fits well with the personality I have etched out for her.

What is your "Thing Under the Bed?" What keeps your brain ticking and humming excitedly even when you are far beyond exhaustion?

After spilling your bed guts head over to Mel's and see what everyone else is showing and telling.

Show and Tell


The Steadfast Warrior said...

Oh man, where do I start? Some days, it's music I write in my head (now only if I could get it down on paper), or all the things I have to do at work the next day. But lately, it's next next few months and what they'll bring that gets me thinking.

It's why I always read before I turn out the light. Even if it's just a page, it settles my brain. If dh hasn't come to bed (I go to bed pretty early some days), then my iPod is lovely too.

Kristin said...

With me its design, usually cross stitch designs, sometimes crochet designs, and occasionally a quilt design.

Parenthood For Me said...

I am the same way. My thoughts and ideas keep me from sleeping even if I am exhausted. Often times it is about my writing and all of the things I have going on with the non profit. I get up sometimes and do something and then I find I can fall asleep. It is a struggle for me as well.

Lollipop Goldstein said...

I love that you're writing, but I wish you would let the world see it. Anything that is occupying your mind that deeply has a good chance of occupying someone else's too.

JuliaS said...

The stuff under my bed is all the things I need to get done that I am not accomplishing.

Interestingly though - your thing is trying to build a character. I help shut my brain down by spinning stories in my head while falling asleep. Character building, plot devising - letting a story unfold along and I am usually off to dreamland peacefully before too long! I thought it kind of funny that which keeps you up is that which puts me out!

areyoukiddingme said...

It really bothers my husband that I apparently have nothing on my mind at any time. In reality, there is a subconscious hum going on, but I am mostly able to ignore it as I complete whatever task I need to do next. I think my subconscious does a lot of my considering for me, because I find it (mostly) fairly easy to make decisions, and I don't spend much time worrying. In other words, I'm an excellent compartmentalizer, and bed is for sleeping, so that's what I do there. Unless I'm angry about something - that's the only thing that wakes me up in the middle of the night.

I second Mel's suggestion - put your writing out there!

Cara said...

I am also not a published writer - yet - but I AM a writer, just like you.

I have 'put it out there' this year and the reception has been good. The process has been even more amazing - learning about me, how far I'm willing to bend, and what I am willing to go to the mat for.

Develp that character...then introduce her, even if it's just to us as a teaser! Pleeease.

Cassandra said...

I did a Thoughtful Thursday post about insomnia a few weeks ago -- virtually all of mine has been IF-related. If you'd like to see what causes some other people to lose sleep:

Unlike you, though, once I'm asleep I am usually fine until morning -- it's the falling asleep part that is hard for me.

alicia said...

that is so great! i used to write not anymore though!

The Lynchs said...

I lay in bed awake and my head just churns and churns with information - no matter how sleepy I am, it's always a battle to control my thoughts and put them to sleep with the rest of me.

For me, right now, my thoughts are consumed with school and my future career. It's my passion, and it seems like even when I dream, that's what it's about :)