I thought I would share with you all what I most often pull out from under the bed of my mind. I battle with it more than anything else. It isn't scary, and truth be told, it isn't a bad thing for me. Surprisingly, I am most productive when I avoid going to sleep or wake up out of a sound sleep with this image seared into my eyelids.
Now I am not a published writer. Most likely because I am too chicken to offer up my hard fought sweat and tears for someone to criticize. Still, I spend a massive amount of my spare time, especially in the summer, writing and fighting that internal turmoil that comes with the territory. I love every second of it. I even enjoy being frustrated sometimes. I draw immense satisfaction from taking a tiny moment or idea and stretching it and weaving it into new faces and lives.
Right now my current sleeplessness is all thanks to a girl and her history. Character development is usually fairly easy for me. This girl apparently is very allusive and secret which ironically fits well with the personality I have etched out for her.
What is your "Thing Under the Bed?" What keeps your brain ticking and humming excitedly even when you are far beyond exhaustion?
After spilling your bed guts head over to Mel's and see what everyone else is showing and telling.
10 comments:
Oh man, where do I start? Some days, it's music I write in my head (now only if I could get it down on paper), or all the things I have to do at work the next day. But lately, it's next next few months and what they'll bring that gets me thinking.
It's why I always read before I turn out the light. Even if it's just a page, it settles my brain. If dh hasn't come to bed (I go to bed pretty early some days), then my iPod is lovely too.
With me its design, usually cross stitch designs, sometimes crochet designs, and occasionally a quilt design.
I am the same way. My thoughts and ideas keep me from sleeping even if I am exhausted. Often times it is about my writing and all of the things I have going on with the non profit. I get up sometimes and do something and then I find I can fall asleep. It is a struggle for me as well.
I love that you're writing, but I wish you would let the world see it. Anything that is occupying your mind that deeply has a good chance of occupying someone else's too.
The stuff under my bed is all the things I need to get done that I am not accomplishing.
Interestingly though - your thing is trying to build a character. I help shut my brain down by spinning stories in my head while falling asleep. Character building, plot devising - letting a story unfold along and I am usually off to dreamland peacefully before too long! I thought it kind of funny that which keeps you up is that which puts me out!
It really bothers my husband that I apparently have nothing on my mind at any time. In reality, there is a subconscious hum going on, but I am mostly able to ignore it as I complete whatever task I need to do next. I think my subconscious does a lot of my considering for me, because I find it (mostly) fairly easy to make decisions, and I don't spend much time worrying. In other words, I'm an excellent compartmentalizer, and bed is for sleeping, so that's what I do there. Unless I'm angry about something - that's the only thing that wakes me up in the middle of the night.
I second Mel's suggestion - put your writing out there!
I am also not a published writer - yet - but I AM a writer, just like you.
I have 'put it out there' this year and the reception has been good. The process has been even more amazing - learning about me, how far I'm willing to bend, and what I am willing to go to the mat for.
Develp that character...then introduce her, even if it's just to us as a teaser! Pleeease.
I did a Thoughtful Thursday post about insomnia a few weeks ago -- virtually all of mine has been IF-related. If you'd like to see what causes some other people to lose sleep: http://babysmiling.wordpress.com/2009/05/14/sleep/
Unlike you, though, once I'm asleep I am usually fine until morning -- it's the falling asleep part that is hard for me.
that is so great! i used to write not anymore though!
I lay in bed awake and my head just churns and churns with information - no matter how sleepy I am, it's always a battle to control my thoughts and put them to sleep with the rest of me.
For me, right now, my thoughts are consumed with school and my future career. It's my passion, and it seems like even when I dream, that's what it's about :)
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