Saturday, June 27, 2009

A visit from heaven

This morning I had a visit. I lay curled up beside Hubby in my favorite blanket in one of those deep restoring sleeps that only happen once in a blue moon. One minute I was dreaming about school starting back and the next I had been taken to a different time and place. The doctor was looking down at a gorgeous wriggling little fellow. He had light red hair and my blue eyes. His smile could only belong to his dad. She looked up and told me he was just perfect before handing him back to me. I smiled, gave him a snuggle and walked out of the room.

Hubby was waiting for us and gave him a kiss on the head. At some point my father-in-law came to visit the baby. Finally, I found myself sitting on a bench waiting for some sort of appointment and I had him all to myself. I talked to him and played with him. His smile lit up the whole room and his laugh ate at my heart. A girl sat beside me and started talking about him with me. She asked how we had gotten his name. I told her that had been his name for a long time. I explained that we had considered several other names, but always came back to this one. I told her that when he was born, there was this moment that he had stared up at me, our eyes locked on each other, and I knew that the name had always been his.

It was so vivid and clear. It was different than the dream that had been interrupted. I've only had a few dreams like that in my life, but they always leave me with the same feeling. I'm sure many disagree, but I think that dreams can be more than just dreams sometimes.

Even in the dream I knew it was a dream. I knew it wouldn't last. I clung to him and whispered secrets to him as I soaked up every inch of his perfect little face. Whether it was real or not, I like holding on the idea that I shared a visit with my son last night. It makes waiting for him to get here not so hard.

I love you little guy. I can't wait to see that smile for real!


Kristin said...

There are definitely times where dreams are more than dreams. I got to see my daughter that way. I don't know if its the little girl we lost or one yet to come but, omg, was she beautiful. I'm so glad you had that moment.

Photogrl said...

I believe that dreams sometimes are more than a dream...

What a beautiful moment you had.

Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah said...

I believe it.

He is telling you that he is coming in time.