Forwards or Backwards?

Ugh! My brain has suddenly turned to mush and I can't think of any decent way to begin this post!

Let's just dive in. I need a bit of advice I guess.

For those of you keeping score, the doc told us a couple of weeks ago that our precious time with clomid was up. I wept piteously for a day or so, sucked it up, partied with af and went about my merry way. We had already planned at least a month long break hoping to coast on clomid's skirt tails. Imagine my horror when I discovered that not only does clomid loathe skirt tails, she walks around teasing the boys in her fancy schmancy daisy dukes. Darn.

A day or so before af packed her bags, I got a head ache. "Great," I thought. "Here they come."

Sure enough, the next day I woke up to a dull ache that crept towards the top of my head as the day wore on. It didn't hurt that bad at the time and I shrugged thinking that perhaps it was just a headache. Normal people do get those if you didn't know. Anyway, the next day it was gone. I breathed a sigh of uncomprehensible relief and went to work. Fast forward a day or two...

My neck started to hurt. "Uh oh."

It started to hurt really bad.

Sure enough, two days later, here they come. This week has been one of survival. I suppose I can say I have had one massively long migraine, but it comes and goes. I'm not sure if anyone else gets this or not, but mine always seem to do this. It will be here for a few tortuous hours and then slink back into a dull ache at the back of my skull for a bit. Suddenly it will leap out from its hiding spot and render me utterly useless. It has been this way every single day this week. It finally peaked yesterday while I was at work (of course) and I spent my lunch break in total dark and silence with a bag of ice perched upon my head.

Every time my body has a hormone disruption this happens. I don't understand why or how. I just know it is about to get the best of me right now. Hubby and I have discussed this in great detail the past few days and I have sought out the advice of my elders. I have tried the vice-gripping daily meds and that turned into a horrifying ordeal that took us months to recover from. I do have a medicine that I can take, but it has a wonderful side effect that leaves me unable to walk or feel my legs well enough to crawl to bed unassisted. Using this at work would be disastrous I think.

The first time we did this through my family doc who sent us to a neurologist that spent all of thirty seconds with me before scrawling out a script and running to another door (seriously). Had he listened to Hubby and I, he would realize that the med he prescribed was a seriously dangerous one when used with metformin, diabetic or not. He probably would have also caught on to the countless times we mentioned fertility and hormones before signing a death sentence for af, ovulation, and any hopes of a baby that we might have entertained. He set us back six months.

I am thinking about going to my gyn doc and discussing the seriousness of my migraines and how it affects my ttc process as well as my daily life. Hubby and I have been toying with the idea of a few months on bcps. I don't know that they would help and I have nightmares of my sixteen year old self raging and ranting to invisible people thanks to bcps, but I know there are new meds out there and perhaps we can find one that works. I'm frustrated with all of this mess and at the moment, I'm not sure what to do. Obviously a trip to the doc is in order but in the meantime I was hoping that perhaps you could lend me all of your wisdom and perhaps calm my fears...