Friday, September 25, 2009

Terrified

I went back for my follow up today.

It's bad.

The pathology report shows that I have complex hyperplasia atypia.

I don't really know what to do with this info. This is rare for someone in their 20s according to my doc and all of the research I can find. Most of the time this happens in someone that is beginning menopause. With that being said, almost every single article I have read suggests that a hysterectomy is the best course of action. That's not what my doc is doing.

He has put me on a scary amount of provera. I usually take two a day for a week or maybe if things are bad ten days. He is putting me on a monthly dose of two a day for fourteen days and has given me very strict instructions to maintain this dosage very carefully. I cannot under any circumstances miss a dose.

I was always thankful that my doctor was so kind and explained early on to me that my hormone levels were a large reason why I struggled with my weight. I have cut sugar, all "white" foods, sodas, fats, calories, and I walk. None of it really did much. I could lose twenty pounds and then I stalled. He's always been supportive and encouraging about this.

Today his story changed. He told me that we are at a scary and very crucial point in my life. We have to do whatever is necessary and possible to help me get down to a normal weight. He was kind, supportive, and vague. He left me on my own to figure out a way to do this. I have no clue. I've tried everything I know how to do.

I have a biopsy in three months to determine if cancer is present. The odds aren't in my favor. He said things were about as bad as they could get.

I'm confused, lost, scared, and very tired. I've lost more blood than any human should, yet tonight I will start pills that are supposed to make me bleed even more.

I just want to crawl under a dark bed and hide.

12 comments:

missing_one said...

Sending big hugs your way. Hoping for the best for you.

Photogrl said...

Big, HUGE ((HUGS))

A girl on a message board I frequent was diagnoised with this about a year and a half ago. She has beat it and is currently TTC again.

I'm going to forward her your blog address.

Hang in there.

I'm praying for you.

Amanda said...

Oh, sorry, that is not good. I'm glad your doctor is trying to help you treat it and not pushing for a hysterectomy or something drastic. Hopefully the provera therapy helps and isn't too hard on you.

I hope you can find something that helps you with your weightloss. If you can, try to get your hubby to go on walks and exercise with you while the weather is still good.

Hang in there and keep us updated.

VA Blondie said...

I am so sorry. It sounds like your doc is trying to save what he can.

Weight has always been an issue with me, too. A nutritionist helped me quite a bit, and weight watchers was helpful, as long as I followed it. And nothing beats being active. Wishing you all the best as you start on that journey.

Robin said...

hello- I am photogirl's friend who had complex atypical endometrial hyperplasia. I was also started on provera for my first round of treatment. this generally DOES NOT WORK. especially with atypia. The proven course of action is 2000mg of metformin with 80mg twice a day (so 160mg total) of Megace. You do this for three months STRAIGHT, no stopping and then get rechecked with an other biopsy.
Something else that helped is they went in and did a D&C to get rid of a good amount of endometrial lining so the medication could focus an the deepest, most dangerous, area.
What kind of Dr are you seeing? if it is your regular OB get a referral NOW to an RE. Although your OB means well and is doing what they know to be the best course of treatment, there are NEW and very effective ways to treat this. You need to be aggressive and provera just WILL NOT do the trick.
email me anytime. robin.kay.macdonald@gmail.com I know I felt SO ALONE through the whole process since there was no one I knew IRL or on line that had ever had issues with this. You can have me for your support, which is something I would have given anything for.

Kristin said...

Oh honey, I am so sorry you have such a scary diagnosis. I am praying for you. Please check your email when you have a chance.

C. said...

(Here from a BlogHer link on Stirrup Queens.) I'm glad Robin--an expert at your diagnosis--mentioned Metformin, because that's exactly what popped into my head. But before I saw her message, I thought, that's just too nosy to swoop in and for you to get half-wit advice from someone you don't know. Given her message, I'll reiterate it's definitely worth asking about. I think she's absolutely right that OBs are quick to prescribe Provera (and for me, that was an evil, evil drug that made me want to jump off the roof--literally). Metformin's usual use is for diabetes, but many REs use it to help with fertility and regulating cycles. Many women find they lose weight on it. (A side effect for me was that it made sugar intolerable, and that I didn't even want it or the kinds of foods that cause me to gain weight--carbs and such. Me, queen of the chocolate chip cookie bag.
Thinking of you with much hope.
-C.

Rebecca said...

Wow honey, I am at a loss for what to say. I was shocked reading your post. I am so sorry you've received this horrible diagnosis. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers that it can be treated, reversed, whatever needs to happen. If you need anything, please call on us. (((HUGS))) and healing prayers to you!!!

The Lynchs said...

I'm praying for you girl! And sending lots of hugs your way!

Queen Bee said...

So sorry!
Re the weight issue - I have tried everything - twice. I started on a low carb/high fiber & protein diet called Travis Martin's Thrive weight loss. (It is only in the SE - small town op)
I lost 15lbs in 10 weeks. And I could stick to it.
Good luck with the meds.

Laura said...

Just catching up on your blog. I'm so sorry that this is happening to you. You deserve happiness and not this stress. I hope that this gets resolved soon. Big hugs!!!!

Waiting Lisa said...

I did the megace thing for years. I was 24 when it started. It went away but then ended up coming back cancer in November. I had a hysterectomy in December at age 31.

I hope you are doing better now. Keep getting checked!