Wednesday, September 3, 2008

I did it.

I did it. It has eaten away at me for months now and I finally put it on paper. There is no going back now!

Last night, unable to sleep (I'm sensing a pattern lately...), I sat down with keyboard at the ready and wrote a letter to the high school principal. I outlined my intentions and what I wanted to give to the girls during my talks. I will go tomorrow and deliver it to the guidance counselor after school. She told me that she would present it for me. By doing so, she can be sure that he is free of other obligations and she will have his full focus and attention.

I thought that as this huge snowball grew I would become more and more nervous. I thought perhaps I would find myself trying to dig out an empty box to hide it all in. To be honest, I have found a great sense of peace and justification. I'm almost excited to take this step.

Feeling this way helps me know that this was the right time and place for me. I can see healing within my own self for the first time in a long time. It surprises me to pull out a box once in a while and discover how far removed I am from that place in my life. It makes me feel silly for storing things up so much. By the time I get around to dealing with them, often times, life has tossed me some new and much larger journey and I feel ridiculous stressing myself out by trying to move forward and backtrack all at once.

Let this be a lesson self. Keep moving. Sell all of your storage space! Be confident in your own strength and plow through what ever hurdles are ahead of you then and there. It is much easier to jump them one at a time. You are not a monster truck and jumping 15 hurdles at once could result in some serious injury!

3 comments:

Kristen said...

Good for you! I'm sure everything will be fabulous!

alicia said...

thats some good advice for yourself there!!! I am so glad you are doing all this, and glad that it is helping.

Kristin said...

Good for you and I hope you get to give the talk. What are you crocheting right now? (I read your last post)