Monday, September 22, 2008

Round 2

Can you believe I missed a show and tell??? I was terribly sad for a little while about that until I passed out for the third time yesterday with an ice pack on my feet and one on my abdomen too. Provera is a nasty, ugly, hateful, heartless, evil wench!

I finally stopped my 30 plus day visit from auntie red and blissfully enjoyed three glorious days without my super absorbant levee friend down below. I found enough energy to finish up my grandfather's blanket that I have been painfully and very slowly working on for a while now. I was able to finally clean my house and hug my husband.

Four days ago tragedy struck however and the river began. I was ok at first. I knew it would happen and I was prepared to deal with a short lived and light visit like normal after one of my marathon flows. This time, no cigar. It has been a nightmare. Our bathroom once again looks like a crime scent every hour or so. I have writhed in pain or nausea many times each day. I cannot walk for more than ten minutes without having a major crisis to deal with. Then there are the hot flashes. I swear there are times when I can almost see the flesh melting off the soles of my feet. Thank you Provera for pissing Auntie off and inviting her back in!

I was off work today thank goodness and was planning on calling in my Round 2 script for Clomid. Last night as I cried sleepy tears I decided that perhaps it was best I just talk to the doctor and ask him first whether he thought I should proceed or wait another month. This morning I decided I was simply going to ask for the clomid and pray that it would help me get situated. The receptionist took my number and told me the doctor might want to talk to me and I hung up expecting to get a call that afternoon saying my script was filled.

While I was out getting lunch ( A terrible trip that will make for a great story for my kids to hear someday.) the doc called. Hubby talked to him. Now, Hubby hasn't taken much interest in my doctor's visits and such. He is really squeamish and steers as far from doctors as he can possibly get. Today was different. My doc being the surprising guy he is asked hubby if he had any questions. Hubby filled his ear full. His first question... When are we going to get pregnant?

I knew that one would have you all in stitches!

I came in with lunch, changed clothes, and sat down to a different husband. He was on my side finally. Not really my side I guess more like off the sidelines. I think he gets it now. I hope he does. It was great to hear him understanding a few things and taking an interest finally anyhow.

The doctor knows that I am having a horrible time. He acknowledged that with Hubby and said that it was actually ok. It had to get worse before it got better. He told him continuing with Clomid was the best next step and filled him in on some of our future options. I usually get nervous and I can't ask the right questions when I see him. Most often I just want out of the stirrups with my meds to head home. Hubby to my surprise had some great questions and the doctor didn't brush him off like I thought he would do to me. It feels good to have some answers and feel a little validated in feeling so bad. There is a whole other post about that but we'll save it for a rainy less reddish day.

I'm considering taking tomorrow off from school but I get so nervous thinking about it. I know I am going to need two days to speak at the high school and I'm trying to stash some days in case something happens with my grandfather. I hate calling out sick for this stuff. I feel so stupid. Normal people have periods every month just like me and here I am calling in for it. Plus it makes me anxious to leave my teachers in limbo without me for a day. I know it hinders things and puts them behind in their teaching. My mother of all people encouraged me to at least take my car in the morning that way I could leave if I needed to. She told me the best thing was to just stay at home on the couch with my feet up and all my glorious ice packed in around me. I have several days stashed from last year and I guess it wouldn't hurt to use just one but I'm going to wait until in the morning.
I just cannot imagine sitting on the floor to play ABC bingo and having to get up out of the floor without terrifying small children and causing a major mess or embarrassing issue!

Anyhow, hopefully I can snatch a pic of the blanket sometime this week to share with you. I'm going to go hunt up an ice pack and take another nap!


Lollipop Goldstein said...

Oy, sweetie, take care of yourself. That sounds awful.

annacyclopedia said...

Just came over from the Lost & Found to say I'm sorry for all you're going through with Aunt Flo. Sounds pretty dreadful. I hope things get better soon. Glad your hubby had a good chat with the doctor, though, and seems to be getting things now. Makes such a huge difference, doesn't it?