Tuesday, September 2, 2008

The Metformin Trail...

I sooo should be asleep right now, but I just can't sleep and my hands are all tingly from crocheting so much today so I suppose I can blog right? Good.

As I have mentioned before, the beginning of school (or any major shift change for that matter) always gets me out of sync on so many levels. I am a routine sort of person. I set my brain at night before bed to do certain things and I just do them. If I need to get up at a certain time I can almost always wake myself up. How well I sleep that night is not the point of the discussion, but I almost always wake up.

Anyhow, one of the major things that almost immediately falls apart is my metformin schedule. For whatever reason it is just one thing I can not wrap my brain around. If I get out of sync I have a horrible time trying to get back on track and take it regularly. It did not help that once I found my niche I ran out of meds over a weekend in a small town and had to wait three days for more (I did plan ahead and call it in. I just had technical difficulties in actually going to pick it up). I totally believe that this has had a profound impact on my prolonged visit with af. I also know that it is one of the reasons why I feel so crummy right now.

As I struggle to get it back on track and work desperately to obtain and maintain some semblance of flow and order in my day, I am becoming more and more aware of the fact that my food intake sucks. When I first started met I was encouraged to research it while I waited for test results. I read all sorts of horror stories and decided that I would be proactive and change my diet before the doctor did so in order to help cushion some of the shock.

It worked great for a while and in fact the doctor did not ask me to modify my foods in any way. My sugar levels truly border on the lower side of things and with metformin in the mix they have a tendency to get a little too low. Still, I maintained the diet and I loved every minute! I lost thirty pounds and once adjusted to the side effects, I felt great!

When the doctor announced that my body was in wonderful working order and that we should seriously discuss our options I was all on board. He told me I would need to take prenatals. No problem. I was already on them. He told me to eat healthy. Check. He told me to stop smoking and drinking if I did. Check. He told me to cut out all artificial sweeteners....Stop! My staple had become diet sodas and splenda laden goodies to tide me over. What was I going to do?

I immediately cut them all out. I did ok for a few days. Then it hit me. I just crashed one weekend. I grabbed a soda on the way home from church and felt immediately better. So, I went out and bought a case of them. I thought, "I can ration them out one or two a day and all will be fine..." Well, one thing led to another and another. Migraines entered the picture and the neuro had a list of foods I had to cut out. Money got tight and groceries went up. It was cheap for me to eat a bowl of mac n' cheese for dinner sometimes when hubby was at work. He got used to his old favorite foods and started sneaking them in.

It all finally fell apart.

I have tried. I have truly tried to get myself back on track. I have bought certain things and refused others. I have label shopped and all that stuff. I hate going out with friends or over to my family's house and having to be "picky." I hate that it takes me hours to cook something that is safe for me to eat. I despise listening to hubby whine and complain. I detest taking three hours for a week worth of shopping because I have forgotten how to buy the right stuff and then crying as I walk out with the receipt in hand. Sugar free means more expensive.

Just to point this out.... I would think that by taking something out of the food it would be cheaper to make and therefore cheaper for me to buy!

So here I am. I am sure my cycles would be better if I got back on the wagon. I am sure I could manage and feel better if I found my way. I'm just not sure how I did it. I think before I had a huge fear of diabetes and therefore I felt there was no margin for error. Now I know that diabetes is not in any way (right now that is) a problem and I guess I just got too relaxed about it.

I need to find a way to get myself situated again. Any advice???

3 comments:

Kristen said...

I am sooo right there with you! I am trying to get back on the wagon (as I fell off a few months ago...)I not only have to regulate my Met again, I also have to pick up the healthy eating again. I know it sucks :(

alicia said...

ahh that is really stressful! I have no idea how to give up sugar, that is impossible for me.do youhave to give it completely up? or can you just slowly cut back on things, then you don't have to stress so much!

Barb said...

Oh gosh. You're right. You could be writing a page right out of my OWN book!

All those things I ditto. I wish I had some good advice. I go through the exact same cycles. If we had loads of money, I think it may be a little easier b/c I could buy all the super healthy things that I think are yummy.

What do you think about agave nectar and brown rice syrup? I've been told they are lower on the glycemic index. Therefore, the foods made with them are better for you to eat. I also read though that agave nectar can be bad in combination with white carbs. I find that I HAVE to cheat some or I go crazy. I can't go cold turkey. It seems like eventually, some of the changes stick. For example, I almost never eat white bread or pastas if I can help it. I made that change so long ago that it's just habit now.

I'm trying very hard to make little changes like that and stick with them as I go instead of trying to go all out, but I know how hard it is. And when you DO let yourself cheat some, you have to be very careful not to go crazy.

By the way.. I would love some food ideas. Why don't you join my Fun Food Fridays? You can post all kinds of good ideas.

And how long did it take for you to start o-ing regularly on met?