Oz

A couple of days ago my mother told me that she was afraid my kitty Oz was gone. He had not been back in several days and she just didn't think he was coming back this time. I was a bit upset but didn't think too much about it because if you only knew this cat. He has been in some serious pickles before and always manages to be rescued.

I guess I should tell you a bit about him before we go any further. We found Oz trapped as a tiny kitten under a cardboard compactor unit at one of the jobs I worked at. Once we finally caught him (it took over a week!) I agreed to take him home with me. He had not been exposed to people at all and hid for a couple of months but over time he became the best kitty I have ever had! He was so funny and he and Parker were real pals. We named him Oz because he was the boss. He demanded things like most cats and would tell Parker what to do. Plus, he liked to hide behind things and attack the dogs!

When we moved here and stayed at mom and dad's for a while he started slipping outside with their cat and sitting on the rock wall in the front yard. He loved it out there and eventually would come and beg to go out. It was so cool because this was a cat that at one time ventured outside at our old place and was frightened into the shed behind the land lord's chicken coop. He almost starved to death because he was afraid to walk 15 feet to our front door for over two weeks. I finally had to use a Humane Society trap to catch him and bring him inside.

Anyhow, when we moved to our own place I just hated the thought of forcing him to be an inside only cat again. He loved it so much outside and the other family cat had just died. I decided to leave him with Mom and Dad so he would be happier, knowing I could visit him any time I wanted to.

He always knew when "mama" came to visit. He would run up and beg for food or love and then curl up in my lap like always. He would only curl up in my lap or my brother's lap. Everyone else would feel privillaged to pet him as he walked by their chair.

I asked Mom today if he had come home yet and while sitting at the lunch table with ten other people she quietly told me that Oz wasn't going to come home. My daddy found him and didn't want to hurt any of us so he lovingly buried him and finally told my mom one afternoon that she needed to stop calling him. He said "It hurts the same every time I have ever told you something like this and I can't stand it. Honey, no amount of looking or calling will bring Ozy home." She told me not to tell my brother. She hates to see him cry. I wanted to yell at her.

He was my kitty. I know I had to leave him there but one of the main reasons was the fact that I couldn't bear to take him from them when they had just lost their own kitty. It hurts me that she didn't think it would bother me as much as my brother. I know she didn't mean to hurt me but she did. I know that she had talked to another teacher about him but didn't want to tell me either because she knew it would upset me.

I guess I feel like I did as a kid when they finally told me the truth about teeth and bunnies and such. I would rather go on believing he was lost than to know what really happened and I think part of me is a bit angry at her for telling me. The grown up part realizes what a horrible burden that must be to carry around and I know she was just trying to do the best thing she knew to do.

She probably thought back to the puppy I had as a little kid. Mom had gotten a puppy the same day Dad had gotten one for us. They had discussed getting one and through a very cool coincidence we ended up with two. Before they could get shots and stuff, they contracted parvo and one puppy died. A few days later my little beagle disappeared and they just said he was gone. Up until I was in high school I thought he had just run away. Mom finally just told me one day that I had misunderstood her when she said "gone" and that she hadn't had the heart to correct me.

It hurts so much to know I will never see him again. It is hard to connect with because I didn't get to see him every day but the pain is there nonetheless. I thought I would post a pic of him on here so you all could see how gorgeous he was but I can only find video of him right now ( oh yeah did I mention that my camera's memory card was zapped yesterday when the power went off several times in a row while it was plugged into my computer? UGH!). I'm going to miss him so much and so is my family.