Monday, October 20, 2008

The "weight" of things

My mother knows that we are on round 2 of clomid. I didn't mean for her to know, but like most things, it just sort of rolled off the tongue in conversation. As frustrated as I get with her sometimes, I feel like I desperately need her approval. Try as I may, there are few things that are kept quiet when it comes to my mom. She's the only person that I feel would not run away screaming in fear at the misgivings of my body. I do try to keep it muted, but I have decided that there is no relationship in the world like that of a mother and daughter.

This being said, I was talking to her during lunch break today about some random kid funniness, and she piped in completely off topic with, "You really have lost some weight." I never missed a beat and without thinking I popped in with "Oh that's the clomid. I winced, anticipating a lecture but instead she excitedly started talking about how quickly her weight dropped once my youngest sibling was born and the doctor could give her medication to throw her into a false menopause.

It's true. When pregnant, my mother lost forty pounds with me. Here's the kicker. I was an eleven pound baby! When her regular hormones had to kick back in, so did her weight struggle. Same thing happened with my sister and brother too (although they did not compare to my gargantuan size!). A couple of years after my brother was born I remember one summer that my mother dropped weight so quickly that people were concerned about her. She had no worries though. She felt better than she had for most of her adult life. After her hysterectomy, her body started doing what it should and she has said ever since that it was the best decision she ever made.

I have dropped about 15 pounds in the last couple of weeks. My skin and hair glow and my body just feels in sync. I have only been in this place a handful of times. It is such a rarity to feel like things are working properly and truth be told it is rather decadent. I am a bit sad to know that this is a short term thing for now and I dread the days of bloating and blotchy skin that will soon follow.

Right now I think I am just going to enjoy it and pray that my skin and waistline aren't the only things working the way they should. Oh how I pray. And wait...


Road Blocks and Roller Coasters said...

Thinking of you and praying hard for you, sweetie! :) ((HUGS))

Miss Mac said...

Good luck with round 2. I think feeling better overall can only help the process. The waiting part is the hardest! Best wishes to you!!!

alicia said...

oh wow! clomid made me gain weight! but pregnancy seems to be making me lose weight, so I am a weird one!

I really hope this is a sign that things are going right in your bod and that all those inline hormones will fertilize a wonderful egg!